How stars are dealing with lockdown

To be honest, I’m more scared of what the virus is doing to the nation’s psyche than the virus itself. I just saw a video put out by Ekta Kapoor, the czarina of soaps where she is watching Raatakelihai, that Asha Bhosle seduction song from the Dev Anand classic Jewel Thief.

Ms Kapoor looks positively spaced out. Being akeli has quite possibly taken a toll on her self-restraint. Then we have those over- smart types like Karan Johar and Shilpa Shetty who pretend that the videos they are putting out in isolation are unplanned.

Shilpa is seen being massaged by her little son and squealing, “I didn’t know my Mom was filming.” Good homeschooling for Shetty Jr on body massages and the virtues of honesty. In another video, Karan Johar is heard asking his son who will rid the universe of the virus and the little boy says Amitabh Bachchan. So cute.

So spontaneous. It is heartbreaking to see Karan Johar’s daughter Roohipooh-poohing her Dadda’s fashion sense and deeply moving to see Kareena Kapoor Khan’s son Taimur make a pasta-necklace for his proud mother. But honestly, do we need this kind of entertainment during these times of lockdown stress?

There are thousands and lakhs of kids across the world whose parents are trying to keep their bored restless childen engaged. But it’s Taimur and Roohi who are the little stars on the social media. My favourite star-kid video is the one featuring Sunny Leone and Daniel Weber’s three children being entertained by their parents with their dancing. It’s notable that the parents look more entertained by their own dancing than their children.

Not to be left behind, Richa Chadha decided to post her own funny video. No. She didn’t announce a new date for her cancelled marriage to Ali Fazal. Nor did she make a pasta necklace for him. Maybe, she’s saving up the pasta for their first post-shaadinashta?

And she didn’t dance to her own song because she doesn’t have any. Instead, she posed as a TV anchor named, ha ha, Quarantina Singh (Quaratina? Get it?) and ridiculed the entire media who are out there reporting the spread of the virus, risking their own lives. But of course, stars are bored and their fans are dying to see their favourite stars doing jhadoo, washing bartanand cooking daal. The truth is, none of the big stars are doing all these domestic chores. All these domestic pictures are fordikhawa only for the social media.

They have a fleet of house helps to tide them over. When I saw one star cooking in the kitchen, I called up to commiserate about the absence of house help. He chuckled, “Of course, I have house help. You think all the people posting pictures making omelettes and cleaning their fans have no house help? They all have a fleet of in house domestic helps. It’s not like their house was run by the kaam wali baai.”

Of course, there are genuinely ‘help’less stars, like Mahesh Babu in Hyderabad. His wife Namrata Shirodkaris running their large home with two children entirely without help as her two maid servants quit and left before the lockdown. But, on the whole, house help is not a problem for the film fraternity. Mental health is. Some of my star friends in Mumbai are going into a state of depression.

I can see it happening. But I can’t do anything about it. A very dear friend told me, “Being in the house all day for almost three weeks is not easy. I was taking a walk every day on the terrace of my apartment. But now, they’ve locked the terrace. So, I can’t even go out for a walk.” An actor-friend suggested he fly to Patna to stay with me as soon air service is resumed, since Bihar is relatively less affected by the viral attack.

Some are formulating unrealistic schemes to escape isolation, others are meditating. But most of the film fraternity is fed up watching films. “I don’t want to watch films now. I want to make my film,” a director-friend told me.The aggressive impatience in his voice scared me. How much longer?