Bollywood in 2020: A tongue in ‘check’ look

If at all, 2019 in Bollywood would be remembered for the working class hero, as represented by Ayushmann Khurrana, giving us hits while the larger-than-life hero took a backseat. What does 2020 have in store? Let’s find out.

1. More bio-pics: Everything from Uri to Balakot, and everyone from Manmohan Singh to Jayalalithaa is taken. Now, in 2020, filmmakers will be seen to be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Biopics on Ranu Mondal, Payal Rohatgi and Mimoh Chakraborty are still available. Grab while you can. Oh, and how about booking movie rights to Taimur’s childhood memoirs? He is sure to write about his bizarre tryst with fame at the age of 0 years.

2. More Taimur? Speaking of Taimur, he will be three next year (after two, that’s what usually happens). We will definitely see more of Kareena and Saif’s toddler. In 2020, he won’t only know every photographer by name, he will also know every member of every photographer’s family by name. Meanwhile, Ranveer and Deepika’s son (Veerdeep?) will be born. Taimur will pretend to be happy for them.

3. Sadly Zero of SRK: For Shah Rukh Khan’s fans, there is terrible news. After no SRK releases in 2019, there will be none in 2020 either. This would result in a condition of mass hysteria among his fans who would threaten to give up eating pizzas and chocolates until they see their idol back on screen. SRK will break his (film) fast with chocolates and pizzas distributed free of cost at Mannat for his fans. Issko kehte junk food for thought.

4. Salman’s Heroines Will Get Younger: Salman was about to co-star with Alia Bhatt who is half his age. In Dabangg 3, his heroine Saeee Manjrekar is his friend Mahesh Manjrekar’s daughter. In 2020, we may see Sanjay Kapoor’s daughter Shanaya make her debut opposite Salman. Remember, Bhai can do anything.

5. Tom Hanks Will Go Into Depression: After seeing Aamir Khan play Forrest Gump, Tom Hanks will get so depressed, he may get suicidal. To see another actor play his role with such dedication…no no! Hanks won’t be able to bear it. Henceforth, he may put in a clause in all his films. No remakes, and certainly none starring India’s Tom Hanks.

6. Kareena’s 40th Birthday: In 2020, Kareena will hit the fabulous 40s with a grand party where she will invite all of her former boyfriends. It will be like the opening sequence from her grandfather Raj Kapoor’s Mera Naam Joker where Kareena will sing and dance to a remix version of Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan.

7. Destination Wedding for Ranbir-Alia: While the other power couple, Malaika Arora and Arjun Kapoor will continue to be content posting flirty photographs, Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor are sure to tie the knot in 2020. But where? Is there any part of the world where the pair can be free of the stare? Karan Johar has a solution. He will buy an island in the Greek region and give it to his favourite couple as their wedding gift in advance. Ranbir and Alia can then call all their friends to the island and wed in peace. P.S.: Karan’s twins may not like Daddy splurging on his friends like this. But since Ranbir Bhaiyya and Alia Didi have promised to dance at Yash and Roohi’s joint wedding in 2040, it’s all fine in La La Land.

8. Malaika Arora-Arjun Kapoor: No wedding plans for this just-happy-to-be-together couple for various reasons. While Malaika has her hands full with her responsibilities as a single mother (which she would not want to share with anyone else), Arjun’s sister Anshula must be married before he thinks of his own. Hence in 2020, this forever-clicked couple would just be happy being a couple. Any problems with that?

9. Alia Bhatt-Ranbir Kapoor: The cynics didn’t give this relationship more than six months. His commitment-phobic record spoke for itself. But Ranbir has grown older and wiser. He is not the same heartbreaker who dated and dumped Deepika, Katrina and other unmentionable names. He wants to settle down. Alia is the perfect bride for the young Kapoor. She is warm, hospitable and crazy about familial togetherness. Most importantly, Ranbir’s mother Neetu Kapoor approves this time of her son’s romantic interest. Toh phir der kis baat ki? All this couple needs to do is find a two-month space in their careers. The wedding is likely to happen towards the end of 2020.

10. Natasha Dalal-Varun Dhawan: Varun’s steady girlfriend for the last six years (he began dating her before he became a part of Bollywood) is not comfortable being part of the filmy crowd. Varun has to constantly strike a balance between his girlfriend’s space and workplace. Nonetheless, Varun and Natasha are most definitely tying the knot this year. Varun has already bought a home away (though not too far away) from his parents, brother, bhabhi and niece. The wedding is likely to happen in the middle of 2020.