RIP Irrfan: It feels as if God has made mistake in taking him just now

I started noticing Irrfan khan when Neena Gupta told me that on TV there was this actor who was a very fine talent. She was producing and acting in TV serials (Gumarah) and had him in one of them.

I started paying attention to him then and realised that this thin boy with the protruding eyes wasn’t acting he was just being. Projection came so effortlessly to him that there was no sense of watching a performance. The camera didn’t make him self-conscious at all.

That was interesting because it begged the question why isn’t he in films.

Soon enough the big screen started taking notice of him and unleashed him on the audience this time for the price of a ticket. And this young fellow soon found his path. He had always been craving for a film career and without anyone’s help, no, that should read with destiny’s help he had found it.

Irrfan khan didn’t have it easy, talent is not always accepted with open arms and this scrawny looking actor had to work his way to stardom and he did. I remember a time when I got a call from his wife Sutapa who requested me to write about him. I explained that as I was a freelancer I’d have to get the editor’s approval first but I’d definitely get back to her.

It took me some effort to get this done but it was finally achieved. What I didn’t know was that she was frantically calling all the journalists she could, to have them give Irrfan some publicity. Just the day I decided to set up the interview with him, I saw an interview with him for the same paper and was really taken aback. I had just finished selling him to my editor. I called Sutapa and asked her what did this mean, it was highly embarrassing for me. But she refused to reply. In hindsight I see her as a person who wanted to help her husband. But when I got to know Irrfan I realised that he was his own person, he wasn’t asking for anything except work. He couldn’t care less about the peripherals of filmdom.

Each time we met I realised this. He was happy to do interviews but wouldn’t have liked anyone to have pushed for them. Though he needed the money, he wasn’t doing films for money, he just wasn’t that kind of actor. To him his career mattered; he was very proud of getting a substantial role.

And he was truly affectionate and truly naughty. I was this rather serious journalist who also took her work seriously and each time we spoke he’d ask me with a straight face, “Are you writing a book on me?” He’d wait for a second and give that wide grin. If I said why do you ask that he’d say, “No you are questioning me like a psychiatrist!”

When he did Billoo Barber with and for Shahrukh Khan he couldn’t stop saying “I miss Shahrukh now that the film is over.” I found that a particularly sweet remark. Shahrukh does have that effect on people but for Irrfan to say so was a very affectionate and candid thing to do.

His acting prowess doesn’t require my vote but he could keep you glued to the screen. In Piku which was such an unusual film with a particularly awkward casting, he blended in so well that nothing could make the audiences feel that Deepika and Irrfan made an odd couple. He was perfect in his role and didn’t have to be anyone except himself to fit in. That was his true talent as an actor. It was effortless. I liked to sit with him and dig deeply into the process he followed while doing such diverse roles which is what led to the remark “Are you writing a book on me? You are talking like a psychiatrist!!

Irrfan had no affectations, he knew his pluses and minuses so no one had to tell him. He once said, “I am very critical of myself. But I didn’t try to fit in. I never did things which didn’t interest me. I went to school but took no interest in studies. I can’t recall that I heard a word of what the teachers said. I used to be a back bencher and kept myself away from the proceedings in the class. I loved listening to stories and those days we heard stories on the radio. I didn’t hear stories from the proverbial grandmother but on the radio. “When he realised that he‘d like to act he didn’t share the desire with anyone “because I was so skinny!”

But this back bencher went on to reach the forefront rapidly. He could claim to have worked with the Tom Hanks. What more could anyone ask for?

He gave us the pleasure of watching him in a Slumdog Millionaire and a Salaam Bombay. He worked with equal fervor in everything be it an ad for Siska bulbs or a Life of Pi. He gave his wife the acknowledgement of doing the most for him, even things he probably did not know.

We are bereft of that pleasure now.

Does God make mistakes?

It feels a little as if he made one in taking away Irrfan Khan just now.