Meanwhile, the world waits for ‘Vishwaguru’ to take a stand on Russian aggression

The petulance of kings.

And thus, a union minister and lawyer finds herself standing at airports arrival “welcoming” students from Ukraine back to India.

Another union minister, also former chief of army staff, becomes a traffic cop on a transport plane randomly directing students here and there.

One Union minister gets chastised by the mayor of a foreign town for claiming credit for work he did not do, in providing shelter and food.

And one more example of Indian knowledge mangles the name of both a country and city that has helped us. Romania and Bukharest become Omania and Bukharia.

Meanwhile, little leakers lauded as analysts by TV’s journalist-impersonators provide snippets of information on how a war was stopped for six hours by the aggressor to allow His Petulance to evacuate Indian students from Ukraine.

This is quite a remarkable claim. Let’s assume that the Little Leaks who serve His Petulance have inside info. Would it not have been more sensible and indeed, more headline-grabbing, if the mighty Russian Federation led by Vladimir Putin, had, on the request of His Petulance and out of love for his longstanding ally India, given all Indians in Ukraine safe passage out of the country before he bombarded it?

Even better, should not have Putin given His Petulance these six hours before Russia’s invasion into Ukraine began?

After all, India’s immense loyalty to Russia has been displayed three times on the international stage where we have refused to take a stand on the invasion, in tacit support of Putin’s invasion into a sovereign country. His Petulance has been presented to his loyal brainless base in India as “Vishwaguru”: The world leader, a global teacher. No doubt they believe it.

The rest of the world however wants some evidence of it.

India and His Petulance find themselves at a peculiar inflection point. The loyal base will believe anything. Let us not forget that the Publicity Machine Office, commonly known as PMO, first claimed that they had no responsibility to Indians stuck in Ukraine because they had sent out a vaguely worded advisory.

When that didn’t work, they let loose His Petulance’s guard dogs to abuse students for going to Ukraine in the first place. Then they attacked students for complaining about ticket prices out of Ukraine. Then they said only bad students went to Ukraine to study, including His Petulance’s great advice that one should not go to “small countries” to study.

Let us graciously ignore His Petulance’s own marginal acquaintance with educational institutions. And so on until they flipped the narrative to try and prove that His Petulance was Rescuer-in-Chief to beat all others.

Do not forget the nausea-inducing lies that were pushed about how Narendra Modi, as chief minister of Gujarat, personally rescued thousands of Gujaratis stranded in Uttarakhand after the devastating 2013 flash-floods in the Himalayan state. If it almost worked once, why not try it again?

Pesky students badly damaged the Chief Rescuer narrative. They released videos of how they were trapped. They explained the difference between evacuation from a war-trapped nation to being offered flights home from a safe spot.

They described how they had travelled through difficult conditions on their own without any embassy help. They talked about how they faced racism at some border points. They informed us how other embassies helped them when our own was missing.

And most annoyingly of all for His Petulance, many refused to sing his praises either on the aircraft returning home or to TV cameras.

While all this is going on, the rest of the world waits for India to take a stand, make a strong statement, anything. To behave like a massive kingdom run by His Petulance, The World Leader.

The world of course will have to wait.

There are elections going on in India and as we very well know, His Petulance cannot pay attention to matters of the State or the planet when he has to campaign for his party and spread a bit of anti-Muslim, anti-minority hatred.

These are crucial assembly elections in five states. Or rather, depending on the results, they will be sold by the Publicity Machine Office as crucial or not to the outcome of the 2024 general elections.

His Petulance’s skill as a master juggler and conjurer is always dependent on the stupidity of his followers. Do they see Union ministers being misused in a silly act of theatre or are they impressed by their commitment to being humiliated by a great world leader?

Will they continue to abuse every student who has been mistreated by an incompetent administration so that the world guru’s image is not tarnished?

And the world? How important for them is India’s position on the world stage compared to His Petulance’s little self-image and massive ego?

(Ranjona Banerji is a senior journalist. Views expressed are personal)