Weights and measures

I don't fly much these days, mainly because I never know whether my plane is being flown by a pilot, co-pilot or auto-pilot. That's a problem for me because these days, the pilot is usually busy having photo ops with his proud mom and dad in the cabin, the co-pilot is busy bashing down the washroom door with a lady passenger inside, and the auto-pilot is probably a bunch of algorithms coded by a young nerd in Gurgaon who's mad about getting only a 2 per cent annual increment and has a grudge against everyone.

Now, which sane person would get on to a plane in the hands of these three entities? So I prefer to be highway robbed by Mr Gadkari and his toll plazas.

But on the occasional flight I am forced to take, I always encounter an unusual form of discrimination which no one appears to have noticed. Now, I weigh 60 kg on a good day, which can go down to 59 on days when I do not get my favourite repast, the Delhi Gymkhana mutton cutlets.

However, such days are rare since my sister-in-law Anjali makes sure this supply chain works seamlessly. To get back to the point, however, my weight makes me a lightweight in a country where 40 per cent of the population will be obese by 2030. And this is no country for lightweights.

You are not considered successful in life if you don't have a cantilevered pot-belly. On buses or Metros, you are invariably compressed into a corner and denied your fair share of space. One invariably gets shoved to the back of any queue Ms Sitharaman decides to put one in. Ladies think you lack in testosterone and are therefore not worth their time. Insurers consider you a bad risk and double the premium. But it's the airlines with whom I have my major grouse, because their baggage rules discriminate against lightweights like me.

Most airlines allow about 20 kg of checked-in baggage on economy class; anything more and you pay through your e-nose for the extra baggage, an average of Rs 600 per kg. So if I'm carrying 5 kg extra, I have to shell out Rs 3,000. Fair enough, you might say? But hold on.

What is my total WTA (weight to airline)? Answer: 85 kg (my weight 60 kg + free baggage 20 kg + extra baggage 5 kg). Compare this with the Great Khali-like hulk behind me in the queue: he weighs 120 kg and his luggage weighs 20 kg. His WTA is 140 kg, compared to my 85 kg — but here's the catch — he walks aboard without having to pay a paisa, while I paid Rs 3,000 even though my WTA was 55 kg less than his! There has to be something wrong here, right? Isn't this institutionalising and rewarding obesity at the cost of those who labour to remain trim and supple?

Weight plays an important role in the flying cost of a plane, and airlines are constantly devising ways to cut down on weight. According to one leading European aviation magazine, an aircraft which performs five flights a day, each round-flight of 1,140 kms, would save 6,240 kg of fuel every year costing US$ 4,200 for every kg of weight reduction!

Why do you think the cabin crew (airhostesses in the days when we called a gal a gal) are usually girls? Why do you think one now gets fewer magazines on flights? Why do you think the cutlery is plastic and not metal? It's the weight, stupid: a girl weighs 20 kg less than a man on average, so just this gender preference can shave about 200-250 kg off the weight of an aircraft. The same logic drives the cutlery and the magazines.

Hence the question: why should airlines not apply the same principle and logic to passengers' body weight? Why should they not move to a 'pay as you weigh' policy? Airlines should calculate the TOTAL weight associated with a passenger — what I have termed WTA — and not segregate body weight and luggage weight, charging only for the latter and not the former. Fix a consolidated permissible weight, say a reasonable 90 kg for both flier and luggage, and charge for anything in excess of that. Why give the fat cats a free pass at the cost of the slender, Mr Bean types like me?

This would revolutionise air travel and be a win-win for all concerned. The airlines would make oodles of money and not have to convert their washrooms into paid Sulabh Sauchalayas, or introduce standing-only flights; the horizontally challenged would now have an incentive to move towards the vertical plane; those who cavil at this or refuse to change can travel by Royal Caribbean or Norwegian, which may be a good thing after all: we may see a return to the good old days of ocean liners, which would be a boon for the environment. 

My suggestion is not as far-fetched as it sounds, you know. Airlines are beginning to see the light and count the millions they are losing by carrying excess lard free of cost. US airlines have now started requesting XXL passengers, who are likely to overflow into the next seat, if not the next plane, to buy a second ticket or deboard. The day is not far off when the XL types too shall be charged by weight, and we scrawny types shall finally get our day in the sun, if not the Metro.

Avay Shukla is a retired IAS officer and author of Holy Cows and Loose Cannons — the Duffer Zone Chronicles and other works. He blogs at avayshukla.blogspot.com 

More of his writing may be read her